---

Growing after SA

There’s scars on my body

That you can’t see,

From the places he touched me

Unconsensually.

Now I feel okay from the trauma

That I recieved,

You place your hand and I’m calm

And suddenly relieved.

I smile because I’m free but

You still move your hand,

Now I’m moving it back it back so

I can relive that thrill,

Because this progress is nothing

That can go unseen.

From the scared girl who

Has blossomed like trees.

---

Motionless

I cannot breathe, nor see,

I cannot move, nor feel,

I am numb.

He is talking to me, but I cannot hear,

He is touching me but I cannot feel.

Silence, movement, nothing.

He removes his body from mine, I can breathe.

He lays down, I can feel.

He smiles at me, and I’m numb again.

He leaves.

My mouth opens but no words come out,

Is it really rape if I never said no?

Is it really assault,

If I don’t have the physical scars

To prove it.

---

And on that night,

You became the monster,

That still haunts me to this day.

But not just in my dreams,

Because each time my eyes shut,

The flashes of your dark silhouette come back,

And I feel your weight,

Your painful, entire weight pressed against me.

And I become still,

I become your object again.

---

Thankyou for reading,

Tailer xo